Untitled
The feeling is weird.. I am being alone and I do not mind but I am trying to figure out how am I supposed to feel.. to be honest I really do not know.. I do not talk at least not as much as I used to… I do not mind.. I do not listen bardo as I used to..
Like a hole, like a big black hole sucking up everything that matters.. It does not matter anymore how ironic?? I really do not care.. I am doing weird stuff and now I am beginning to enjoy the numbness its good not to feel that you do not feel.. I do not know…
Everyone is asking how am I? That is the ultimate question.. How am I? I do not know I do not mind a lot of things. My heart is like an empty shell that if you put to your ear you would hear the ocean and yet its very heavy.. how can something be very hollow and heavy at the same time..
“The night is here and it does not seem its ending
sucking everything up, am scared its not pretending
what if this darkness is real.. what if I could never feel
Does not sound so bad.. I have to say
Would not be the first time I go stray
ever wondered why you are always in the dark?
why you are always in shadows and behind bars?
I really do not know neither do I care
I am here and that is that.. nothing else expected to be
it never did, you never were.. Just pretend you are not there..“
Servo Quod Lost In In Man's Terra 
Hi Sarah, nice to see you back! I missed you and was a bit worried when I stopped fining your blog at the link I had. Hope you’re doing great, although this post shows differently.
Hugs,
Alina
Alina - July 27, 2008 at 8:02 am |
Missed ur mental vomit very much :))
I huv the same shell feelings.. so strange when u quit life like that
Hope ur better now…
Maa 3lina
dr-invisible - July 27, 2008 at 8:05 am |
Alina…
I missed you sooooooooo much.. I am sorry I disappeared like this but hopefully things would be fine again.. after all I am back to ranting which is always a good thing 😀
SaRaH - July 27, 2008 at 8:14 am |
hey hey Dr.. Invisible..
You really are a doctor aren’t you.. missed my vomit.. Ewwwwwwwww
LOL.. i missed you too i was a discret reader for a while but not anymore I am back and ready to kick ass 😀
Take care dear and for the shell we always have it someday but it fades away eventually
SaRaH - July 27, 2008 at 8:15 am |
You are making space to feel what it is you are feeling. You are going through a self-identification process. Give yourself the space needed to feel the pain, or what ever you are going through. I suspect I will learn more as I read your blog.
You are in the process of reconnecting with self – You have a lot of unanswered questions that you will soon have answers for.
Bruno LoGreco - July 27, 2008 at 5:40 pm |
Bruno..
You are true about trying to reconnect with myself but sometimes i do not feel i have space inside to feel whatever i need to be feeling everyone is urging me to step out of the shell and face the pain and everyone is pushing and pushing if only they leave me to do it with my own pace.. it would be grand
SaRaH - July 27, 2008 at 9:54 pm |
this is your journey – it’s about you and you only. Allow yourself the space internally to feel the pain.
Do your thing and don’t let others influence you. You are on the right track.
Bruno LoGreco - July 28, 2008 at 1:22 am |
Dear Bruno..
You have no idea how a nice change it is to hear someone saying that I am not making a big deal out of things or putting things out of proportion..You are absolutely right.. it is my journey and letting others feel good about it did not get me anywhere..Thanks for the comment it really made a difference
SaRaH - July 28, 2008 at 9:55 am |
you are very welcome!
Bruno LoGreco - July 28, 2008 at 1:05 pm |