Servo Quod Lost In In Man’s Terra
It’s a Dump Filled with abusive and in appropriate subjects and expressions if you are not cool with that go away, if you are then feel free to step right in :)

Me, Myself, & My Moods

Okie, lately I have been extremly tired no matter how many hours I sleep I have had constant headaches that do not seem to go away no matter how many pain killers I take. I have became so sensitive to alot of things I feel no body wants to hear my out which results my have a lot to say and nobody to listen. My Way of expressing my advice or opinon has become some how aggressive I have been so into details may be that it is why People do not want to listen any more. I have been relying again on mood lifters AKA anti depressants and psyhcological medications which makes me mood swingy and it is extremly addictive which is so bad both ways meaning loose loose situation.

I have become Melancholic, do not feel bad if you dont understand the meaning I did not also I have to look it up it means:

1. Depression of spirits; a gloomy state continuing a considerable time; deep dejection; gloominess.

2. Great and continued depression of spirits, amounting to mental unsoundness; melancholia.

3. Depressed in spirits; dejected; gloomy dismal.

Which is bad, I have been sleeping well which is something good but my nightmares have become worse. It gives me shavers down my spine when I remember them. I do not know what is wrong with me. Plus I have been PMSing recently which never used to be so sever. I do not know what to do I am always drifting in my thoughts which is not a nice place to be if you did not know and my mind is taking me into places that I rather not be. I have been thinking about the worse case scenarios which is something I was trying to change in Shamel but now he is trying to change is me.

I am afraid cause I am back to medications but I am so depressed and drifting that I do not want to be like that hence I do not want to stop. I should not feel like that in the happiest period in my life which is my engagement or that is the definition of it by everyone around.

I have been abscent minded to the extent that I have burned my lip with my cigerrate so bad that the skin was peeled off. I scratched my allergy when I was drifting that I have carved my skin. I do not know what to do really I should be more helful and supportive to Shamel instead he is taking the energy that he should spend on building our home and buying stuff to making me feel better which makes me feel worse it got to the extent that he took me out to an expensive place to make me feel better and I end up taking about money and loans.

What is wrong with me for freaking’s sake? yes I am a Gemini who are famous for mood swings but that is not mood swings I know my usual mood swings and these are not them.
I do not know what that is? Any clue anyone?



4 Responses to “Me, Myself, & My Moods”

  1. That’s normal, really it is, I know the flack you’re taking from a lot of people, add to this the approaching transition to a new home, and it’s normal for you to feel anxious.

    I know I have been somewhat distant last weekend, I was exhausted, unable to focus and had some stuff to deal with instantly, which left me somewhat disoriented, I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s the truth.

    Cheer up little one, all will be fine, it’s just an accumulation you’re having, there’s a light at the end of that tunnel

  2. Sarah hun, take it easy on yourself!

    the headaches are stress-related… and sometimes you sprain the wrong nerve/muscle while asleep and it messes you up for the rest of the day…

    i am not a doctor to tell you what you should or should not be taking, all i can tell you is that you can always talk to me without worrying about me losing patience over your details, i like details 🙂

    take it easy dear and try to disconnect from all the madness around you… i find it almost impossible to do myself, but u should really focus your efforts on trying la2en keda you’ll wear yourself out b4 the 6 weeks are over!

    be well hun

  3. I am sorry to hear you are so stressed out have you ever tried to seek professional help like a psychiatrist or something they work for some people. plus have you have ever thought that after being an insomniac for God knows how many years that your sleeping habit is just an escaping technique? Its just a thought just take it easy on yourself as for the nightmares try telling it to someone you trust I think Shamel would be the right person this is one way to stop having them or try to figure out what they are telling you re-current even nightmares usually have messages.
    As for the drugs I know it sounds strange coming from me but stay the hell away from them the damage is more than the help trust me I know what I am taking about.
    Hope you be well and take it easy on yourself.

  4. Oh dear it is so bad you feel that way and I do agree with Ahriman that the over sleeping is an escaping technique speak dear find a way out or else you will be eatten inside and drugs wont make it better it will make it worse. So avoid it. Find outlet whatever it is and do it or else you would get worse.

    Hope you feel better soon.
    Call me for a chat whenever I am there for you girl

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