Servo Quod Lost In In Man’s Terra
It’s a Dump Filled with abusive and in appropriate subjects and expressions if you are not cool with that go away, if you are then feel free to step right in :)

What is wrong?

Back in school they used to call me the ice queen cause I never used to cry, no matter how insulted or humiliated I am, you could see how humiliated I am you could see the glass wall forming in my eyes but it never cracks. I was like that. But now a days I cannot stop it whenever I am under pressure I cry like hell. Yes it is true been having pressure like everywhere at home, at work, and through the marriage thing and the fact that my brother is not able to find a job did not really make matters all peachy, but so what???? This has been my life since forever, what is so wrong now?.

What makes matter worse is that I do not cry in front of everyone only in front of Sloppy so I end up making him more worried and responsible and less talkative about his own problems on the basis of “hyia na2sa” or let’s not add insult to injury so what happen is he bottles up inside and walk around like everything is happy and jolly while deep inside it is not which I hate. This is not what partnership should be about, should it?
I know him, he would think that way, he would say let’s postpone talking about this problem till she feels better, let’s not tell her about these news till she feels better and I could go on and on and on and it makes me feel bad. I do not want to cry I want to be like I used to, handle things like a strong mighty creature who thinks that crying is for sissies and wouldn’t solve anything, but I cannot seem to be able to do it.

Any ideas anyone?



13 Responses to “What is wrong?”

  1. bottling up stuff is not good for you… may be the crying is your body’s way of telling you that you need to take some of it out, and you should….

    and it’s best that it happens in front of slop because he’s someone you can trust and who wouldn’t use your weakness against you….

    now a relationship is not tit for tat and it’s not 50% on you and 50% on him… the percentages change according to who needs more support and attention and who’s capable of giving it… so now you need his support, at some point he will need to pour his heart out to you and he knows you’ll be there to do for him what he does for you… look at it this way, he’s preparing you for what’s to come by helping you be stronger ;))

    just hang in there hun, in sha2 Allah time will pass quickly and you’ll have some time to relax :))

  2. Oh Insomniac I love how you explain everything to make it sound so good in the end I really should call you up when things get really complicated and I feel I can not breathe so you would analyse it and make me feel good about it
    Or better of you should do it for living as a side job I am not kidding you are totally right you made me look at it from a completely different prospective thanks girl.
    We need to arrange another outing Ma-3lina is so pissed we did not talk her with us and the girl do really needs a boost, the talk is about the Saturday after the coming one what say you? Let me know

  3. Oh girl it is completely normal to open up to the guy who is going to share your life its not considered a weakness nor a burden. It is the only place you should feel safe to do so I am not say cry whenever you see him but do not feel bad when you do and he should do that same when he feels like not the crying part if he finds it offensive but the opening up part. Its what relationships is all about and you guys are past relationships you are heading down that aisle pretty soon so do not worry about it 🙂

  4. Oh i am the best to talk about being emotional I am driving Paul crazy I am crying all the time last time we were picking babies shoes and I cried right in the middle of Carfour and I am not talking glittery tears either I am talking right down loud sobbing I do not know why it got to me that bad then? But it’s okay. Paul can take whatever I do to him so does Shamel that crazy little thing called love Queen sang about does that to us. so no worries you are going to be okay 😉 so will he 

  5. Inso said it all =)
    If u were me, my shrink would have been so happy that u got over the Ice queen phase long time ago and started expressing ur emotions and cry!

    Btw I wanna come in the next outing malees da3wa waaa2 lol

  6. Nothing is wrong darling…
    U shud have asked that question when u were the Ice Qween; “what was wrong that made u not able to cry like others?” Now, ur just like every other healthy person…

    Crying is not that shameful…ur turning into a woman now..that school girl is gradually vanishing.


  7. I think it is sometimes healthy to cry. Specially infront of someone who realy cares 4 u like slop. So dont worry. And i believe that everyone has his share of happiness and i am sure its time will come soon 4 u. Just have a little patience.

  8. oh Sarash 🙂

    ok, i am totally in for next saturday (not this one), i wouldn’t want ma 3alina to get pissed!!!

    and you know you can always call hun, i would have called but you have that busy sign all the time and i hate to be distracting you when ur too busy 🙂

    and IQ, LOOOOL you make me laugh 🙂

  9. Am serious =P Feeha lakhfeeha lol

  10. Hey babe,

    Who said I mind or it makes me uptight, I just wish I’d be able to avoid you all the hassle you’re going through.

    I know exactly what you’re going through and I’ll tell you this, a mountain would’ve cracked by now under this sort of pressure, I’m really proud of how you’re handling things so far, just keep it up.

    As for the crying bit, I never minded it, it’s good for you and it lets me see how much you trust me to let me in.

    So, just enjoy the remaining 6 weeks, there’s a lot in it for you to enjoy and feel all excited about, let the fun begin 😀


    I have a small surprise for you today when I see you xoxox

  11. So sweet to have read Slop’s message here 🙂


    I rarely cry in front of people (not even my family or my bestfriends) but I often cry alone and all by myself. I never show my tears no matter what although I am a tear-making machine. I think crying is not a weakness. It is actually a good outlet for releasing pain…

    But, there is one person I used to cry to and it’s my ex of 4 years. I would cry on skype, on the phone, in person. Had it not been for his support, I probably would have made it through a few tough moments in my life. Crying to him felt different and I always loved how he never judged my tears, how he got me, how he knew that I just wanted a shoulder to cry on and that I wanted him to make me feel safe. And I always felt better because of that. This is how close we were and we still are very close friends.

    Sometimes it’s worth it to let someone in, granted it is the right person and Slop is and you know that 😉 And his support will get you through a lot. Actually, just having him there is enough support and you know that too 🙂 And like insomniac said, a relationship is not a mathematical equation so don’t feel guilty.

  12. Crying it out is much better than bottling it up and ending up with a nervous break down, it’s your brain’s way of relieving emotional pressure, don’t worry, when things become better, you’ll be able to be normal again. Meanwhile, in these pressured emotional situations I find walking and instrumental music to be very soothing.

  13. Hey, Sarah nothing’s wrong with u….

    Others said it all…

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